The Very Secret Diary of Virgo White
by HuntressofArtemis310
Summary: Virgo White is not your ordinary average muggleborn witch. Maybe her life will be more spiced up with a certain Mr. Sirius Black.
1. My Name Is Not to be made fun of!

Virgo (the virgin) Crispina(curly haired) Ginger (reddish brown hair) Harmony(a beautiful blending) Aquarius (the water bearer) White (pale complexion/Irish)

_**Revlium Thoughtatium Quatiatius Notebookats Follocundus Diaranius!**_

Testing, Testing. Had to make sure the spell worked. My amazingly best friend, the library, helped me find this amazing spell. It is cool, it records my thoughts in a diary and it looks just like my handwriting.

This is bloody amazing!

I love sheppard's pie!

I once cheated on a quiz for Flitwick.

I hate owls because they hate me. (Seriously, they attack me every time!)

I love Chocolate frogs. (Yumm, I can taste the frog leg down my throat.)

Oh, sorry. My point…

Dear Retarded-piece-of- junky-paper-that-is-a-waste-of-my-precious-space-aka-the-adpotive–Mother-thought-it-would-be-great-to-get-my-thoughts-and-feelings-down-on-paper,

I hate Slytherins! I am going to kill them and feed them to the Giant Squid. But, you know what, screw them! They are jealous because they don't have an amazing name just like me! Okay please don't start laughing, diary. I am patrically fond of my name. (_HAHAHAHAHA!)_ I just pulled a funny!

My name is…

….can't tell you then I would have to kill you...

…...Still ain't...

…Not going to crack under pressure!...

It's _Virgo Crispina Ginger Harmony Aquarius White._

Fine! You win, you stupid diary! Sorry, diary, that was cruel. But in the meantime, Mwahahahahaha! That means I get to kill you. Hehe.

Anyway(Dramatic eye roll)…I do hate my name. _Virgo_? Honestly, was my parents on some hardcore drugs? It means Virgin, even though I am one, but that is beside the bloody point! The only thing that fits is that it belongs in the Earth element which represents my house, Hufflepuff.

Crispina fits me because it means curly headed. Ginger does also because it means reddish brown hair which I have.

Harmony means beautiful blending. HAHAHAHA! Me, beautiful? The day I confess my undying love for Severus Snape. Haha, I crack myself up sometimes! Ew, who would want to touch that greasy haired Slytherin affectionately!? (SHUDDER!)

_Aquarius?_ Honestly, my muggle astronomy-loving parents really loved constellations (hence the past tence, I'll talk about them in a minute. Depressing, really.) I hate this name because it means water bearer. Ew, that is the element for Slytherin. And gross! Who would want to be a slimy evil witchy Slytherin?

White is the only normal name I got! But it means pale complexion which I do have and it's orgin is from Ireland, where my dad came from. And it can stand for White magic, which I do.

Honoria Evergreen, a famous arithmancer and diviner from the sixteenth century, once said, "The name is the pathway to your soul."

Or some rubbish like that.

Bloody hell! I totally got off topic! I was talking about killing Slytherins then to my wretched name! Sorry diary, I have the attention span of a bloody three year old. (I really need to work on that. Because it does get me in akward positions,(Ew, diary get that thought of your dirty pagey-mind). Like one time, my Adoptive Mum was talking to me then the next minute I am dancing with the awful looking guy and getting my toes stepped all over-)Merlin, I did it again!

So the point was that my ex best friend, Jackie Nott, is a back stabbing wench! She is a Slytherin. And a bitch to come to think of it! She should be a damn pure blooding-world, dominating-effin-Slytherin. Why you ask? Here is the fascinating tale (note my bitterness):

"Your just jealous that Sirius Black has an intrest in me!" The bitch named Jackie yelled, catching the Great Hall's attention. Yay, freaking,yay. Frankly, Black hates Slytherins! It won't last a bloody hour! I am not jealous that he is intrested in her! But he does have nice black hair and gorgeous grey eyes…. I rolled my eyes at myself.

"Pur-lease! Me, jealous of having a sex craved animal only wanting to get into my pants!?" I shrieked at her, but secretly I was jealous. Not of _him_! She was the beautiful blond, tall, and gorgeous one. "I am just watching out for you! When he breaks your heart don't come running to me because it only last an hour!"

Then she looked at me with rage. For a minute I thought she was gonna pull a _Crucio_ on me. Which would probably hurt like hell.

"Fine! I won't, Ms. Jealous. And I never want to talk to you again, you, Mudblood!" She bellowed at me. I felt as if I was hit in the face. Like my own personal _Crucio_ hit me. But she continued as I hid my tears in my eyes, crossing my arms, glaring at her. "I only became your friend because your parents died. I felt sorry for you because you are a loner, Virgo Crispina Ginger Harmony Aquarius White! Never talk to me again, Mudblood." She hissed. Oh hell no! That Slytherin didn't just said my whole effin name!

Then I hexed her. And got a detention. Then I ran away to the library,where I am still at, getting my disgrutled thoughts on you, recycled paper. I am sitting in the back crying my eyes out.

Why? Because I thought my bes-ex best friend was different. We have been together through the thick and the thin. We are now at our fifth year together. And it hurts what she said.

I am a loner. My parents died, leaving me alone. I have a family I live with, but it's not the same. Despite my parents aggrovating ways, I loved them dearly and I still do. My adoptive parents are very loving, they are fourty old. They couldn't have children and they got me when I was in the second year. My parents died by some Death Eaters. I hate Voldemort!

Anyway, I hate thinking about it. It feels me with sadness. Wiping my tears on the back of my hand, I sniffled and groaned.

Diary, I really hate you right now. You can't help me. Evil book. Get that look off your rudding covery-face! And stop giving me that Voldermortish laugh. This ain't funny!

My dear sweet, Helga Hufflepuff, I am scolding a damn blooldy effin book! I really need to break-

Did it! My, bloody hell, I didn't mean to. I just got ink everywhere. Damn't! Today is not a good day! First, being called Mudblood, then Jackie being my new sworn enemy, then ink getting on bloody stuff!

The worst part I have no one to vent to. Slytherins hate me, I am a mudblood. Ravenclaw's only talk to smart people (ruling me out) and you would have to pull out a sodding dictionary to keep up with them. Gryffindors probably don't even notice this pale-skinned,freckled-skinned, auburn-haired, slightly pointed nose,curly-headed, blue-eyed, short (Im talking five feet. The bloody first years are taller than me!), somewhat plump, and loud, outspoken girl, a loner with no friends. The girl that is dotty and a temper that can land you in the Hospital Wing! (Hilary Hudgens still wont forgive me when I accidently exploded. She scurries off when I walk by her.)

My own effin house hates me! I didn't mean to trip the bloody seeker.

I lost our bloody chance at winning the Quidditch Cup.

Sorry, that am a klutz-proud of it! (Except that time I turned the hallway into a buch of falling dominos. Not pretty. And my finger will never work again after cleaning hundreds of-what are they called? The things you put potions in. Ugh! I am going batty. Oh yeah, cauldron, mcjiggy. And my ears will never hear right. Merlin, Minne {aka Professor McGonagall} can scream.)

Merlin! I did it again. Back to the point.

Hufflepuff hates me because of that stupid seeker. You would think they are sweet, loyal, and understanding but they are back stabbing people also. Like we had a chance anyway, we were up against Gryffindor! Not my fault the seeker was such a wuss. He didn't want to take the bloody potion. It was "gross". Thanks to you, seeker, everyone hates my bloody guts.

I returned my glare at any book I saw. Which is a lot considering is a Library filled with books. Well, dur! What else would be in a library?

I glance around the room to see, I swear, thirty Ravenclaws. Seriously, get out of the damn library. They practically sleep, dream, and live in a library. They would probably marry a book. But it would have to be very productive with spells and what not.-I don't know how I am keeping a straight face, HAHAHAHA!

_So glad the Sorting Hat didn't place me there. I would beg to go home._

I screamed-earning a glare from Madam Pince- well excuse me Ms. I-love-my-books-to-damn-much. Someone just tapped me in the back. The girl sits down in front of me. She has long dark, straight red hair with kind green eyes. I immediately recognize her as Lily Evans, a fellow sixth year but a Gryffindor.

"Sorry, I scared you." She apologized. Why is she is sitting with me? The poor, lonely Hufflepuff-" I know how it feels when your best friend turns on you and calls you a mudblood." Damn, jump to the point. Hehehe, that would be funny-"Virgo? You okay? You look a little peaky." And she gives me this look and I began to vent. Get ready to hear a long arse frustration shite.

"No, I am not okay. I just lost my best friend, my confidant, and my only friend. Jackie and I were together through the thick and thin. We cursed anyone for making fun of a Hufflepuff/ Slytherin friendship. I will never forgive her. She hit below the belt on the comment of my parents. I can't help that there is a new Dark Lord rising as we speak. Merlin's striped boxers, I am going to grow all alone with fifty cats! Then I will have Sophie, my loyal kitty. Please just save me for my pathetic future and use the killing curse on me. I am just a eccentric, feeble, useless, batty, and worthless mudblood." I spit out, my chest heaving. Helga, that feels better. (I could course, vent to you, diary-I mean-journal, but then I would likely go around bloody Hogwarts stabbing people to death. Then go to Azkaban, which I really don't want to go there.)

I did not even relise I was crying again. Lily got up and sat beside me and wiped my tears away.

"You are not worthless. Hey, if you a mudblood then I am right with you, sister." She said. And it made me perk up. Because Lily is muggle-born ( just like me) and is the brightest witch ever!

"You know what,Lily. I am not going to cry anymore. She is a pure evil Slytherin. I am going back in the hall and looked unnerved." I said, standing up and a determined stubborrness ran through me veins. That sounded Irish. Where do I get this stuff? _Classic._

"That is right, Virgo!You are going to sit with me and Alice-" aka her best friend; nice girl-" we are going to have a smashing fun time." Then we exited the library looking as Christmas came early.

Walking through the halls, Lily did a charm that you couldn't tell I cried. She fixed my hair taking it out of my usual messy bun into loose curls. It looks hot, if I do say so.

"I love your name by the way." I glared at her, seeing my glare she laughed. Hey! That is not funny! "I really do! It fits you. Virgo means virgin, which I am guessing you are.-" She has me there."- And it is a earth element. Concidering your House represents earth element for loyalty and inflexible vocation. But it fits you because you are obstinate and sort of covetous.-"What!? Where is that bloody dictionary?"- Crispina and Ginger fits because of you striking curly, auburn hair.-"Got me again. "-Aquarius means water bearer. And you can be like the water element, you can be insinsitive. But like the zodiac you can be like emotional and irrational." She told me.

It took me minutes to process what she said. Damn, this girl is a walking and talking dictionary/encyclopedia. She uses big words like a Ravenclaw! Oh my Merlin, it is a Ravenclaw. Maybe the slime bag is under the Polyjuice Potion. It's effecting me! Help! I have never even remembered that potion from class.

I slammed the fake Lily against the wall. She was giving me a crazy look. "Tell me where Lily Evans is, you Ravenclaw." I demanded.

"It's me, Virgo." She said, glaring at me. She-the fake Lily- didn't find this at all funny.

"Then tell me what she told me in third year when I accidently fell on her." I glared at the fake Lily.

"'_Watch it, Virgo, before you land yourself in the hospital wing, again." _She recited rather boredly. I let go of her.

"Sorry about that. You were talking like a Ravenclaw. Had to make sure." I laughed akwardly, smiling sheepishly.

"That was bloody hilarious. Loyal, you are." Lily said, laughing her little head off.

"Ha ha ha, make fun of the ditzy Hufflepuff." And then I began to laugh in hysterics.

"You are a one of a kind, Virgo White." She said as we enetered the Great attention was on us but we ignored it, sitting beside Alice.

"I have been told." I muttured under my breath. And quiey frankly I have. But it doesn't bother me. I would rather be abnormal then some Mary Sue. I began to snort."Hello, Alice." I guess I interrupeted them talking, Couldn't know cause I was thinking. I thought smugly.

"Hey-Lily told me of the incident." She began to laugh so hard people were throwing us looks of disgust.

"What!?" I asked indignantly. "Bloody hell, you are going to put this against me for the rest of my life. When you vist don't step on Sophie's tail." At that, Lily busted into more laughter.

"We are not letting you go. Your hilarious!" Alice cried, wiping her tears out of her face. She pushed back her dark, dark brown hair out of her face, blinking back tears in her brown eyes.

_I have no where to go._ I thought sadly, but smiled falsely.

My breath stopped when I saw Jeremy Jackson. Sigh. He is the Quiddtich captain of Ravenclaw. I fancy him, all right. He is gorgeous. Tall, dark brown eyes and blonde hair. He is walking over here! Merlin, what do I do? Smile? Wave? Wink?! Flirt?!Throw myself at you?! Sing?! Blush?!-

"Thanks again, Lily, for the notes." The hottie said. He is so _fine! With a captial F._ Hahaha, in grade school that was a …

"Hey you're the girl with all the names." Hottie said what! Great, I am known for having eighty bloody names.

"Tahatttsd ememe jshfeni…" _Why am I talking like that? Come on Virgo, your making Peter Pettigrew look like a God._

"I am Jeremy Jackson, by the way." He said, giving me an odd look I have received so many times before. He stuck out his hand.

_Here is the moment where I know if Jeremy is my soulmate. Ready up, Jeremy, for this girl._

I prepared myself for the tingles. I began to shake his hand. Nothing. Notta. Zip. Zeppy. Zippero. Not bloody _nothing!_ I shaked his hand roughly. What the hell!?

"Virgo." I muttered, letting go of his hand and turning around so my back faced him.

"Bye, ladies." And with that, He walked away. The guy I thought was my future walked away.

Bloody hell, I fancied the sodding pants out of him. And not even a tingle or jolt up my arm. I give up on love!

"Ahhh!" I screamed.

I got many looks but I was ignorant right now. As a child, Mum told me I would know if he was the one. I would get the butterflies, tingles, or the attraction. None of that happened! I began to pound my head on the table.

"Let me guess, he wasn't the one." Lily said, her eyes looking at me sympathetically, "I got the same speech as a child."

"Bloody sucks. Oh, theres Frank-bye." Alice says, getting up to meet her boyfriend.

"Lucky omptimist." Lily and I voice our thoughts out loud. We glance at each and smile. Lily continued, "I wish I had my Frank."

"Me too."I agreed. "Look, James Potter is staring at you."

Lily rolled her eyes. And as to be correct James Potter, who is in irrevocably in love with my lovely Lily and constantly stares at her with such ardor that it's really creepy. I know she likes him but her stubborness and pride is in the bloody way.

James and I know each because my adopitve Mum is best friend's with Mrs. Potter. So we know each other really good.

James and Sirius-wait a bloody second! I hit my arm. Okay, making sure it wasn't a bloody dream. They walk over here, sitting beside us. My eyes avoids Sirius. Remus sits down and talks to Lily about an Essay. Nerds, honestly. They could could be sodding Ravenclaws.

"Virgo, I told you about her." James said, concern written all over his face in words. Aw, he is such a cutie pie. His hand rumples through his untidy black hair and his hazel eyes shine with sadness.

"Tell me, 'I told you so' another day." I snapped at him, James grinned. "Anyway, Jackie has been acting weird. I now know she was following her precious _Lord._" I added the last part sarcastically.

James hugged my side, kissing my hair. He was the older brother I always wanted. I noticed Lily was glaring daggers at me with jealousy and envy in her eyes. Wait a second, she likes him. HAHAHAHA! Hell has frozen over. Snape fell in love with me. Voldyshorts turned sweet. Dumbledore turned evil. Sirius Black is gay.-You get the point?...

He muttered in my hair, "I can give a shit about blood. And you know that. Just keep in my mind not all pureblood's are evil. They are mislead."

I gave him a look. "That's _deep_ bro." He glared at me but I couldn't help but include, "That is something you would expect from a 'Puff."

"That was defiantly a Gryffindor speech. Noble and brave to say." James said with arrogance. Rolling my eyes, I hit him upside the head. "Ow! Virgo what was that _for?_ Totally_ un-Hufflepuffy,_" He asked, rubbing his head also attempting to flatten his untidy hair.

"_That_ was for being haughty." I hit him again, ignoring his girly scream. Sissy, and he tells me I am a girl? Puh-lease. "That is for calling me Un-Hufflepuffy because I am absolutely a 'Puff. I am loyal to stick around your dumb arse and work hard at it."

He looks mock offended. "Virgo Crispina Ginger-" I take another blow to his head so he won't continue.

"Detention, Miss White." Guess who said it. Professor McGonagall. Ding. Ding. We have a winner.

"For?" I demand furiously.

"You know, of all people, not to hit a student." She said, walking way as she mutters, "Should have been a Gryffindor." Thanks, Minnie!

I turn to see I am receiving odd looks. "I said that out loud didn't I?" I asked, blushing. Merlin, I need to shut my trap. They all nodded, and Sirius Black says, "Yeah we don't know what is going in that tiny brain of yours." He smirks and I feel myself blush with anger.

"Your so funny." James chortles, then his hands pat my hair with his hand. He makes it frizzier than it should be.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. In, Out, In-screw it.

"JAMES CHARLUS POTTER!" I scream, standing up to glare as he spins around. He smirks at me."You have ten bloody second to run before I feed you to the bloody Giant Squid."

"You would miss me to much. Who would you replace as your older and gorgeous brother?" He replies. Smirking. That bloody idiot does have a point.

"Remus." This time I smirk as he glares.

"Nu Ugh."

"Uh Huh!"

"Nu Ugh!

"Uh Huh!"

"Nu Ugh."

"Uh Huh!"

"Nu Ugh!

"Uh Huh!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Wench!"

"Idiot!"

"Butt-licker!"

"Lent-licker!"

"You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance."

"Your so ugly Hello ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you!"

"Dung face."

"You stole my word, Virgo!"

"Nu ugh!"

"Uh Huh!"

"Nu Ugh!

"Uh Huh!"

"**WOULD YOU TO SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!" **Lily screeches. Damn, she can yell. Most of the people were looking at us with amusement. Slytherins glared. The teachers shared amused glances at their outspoken student.

The usual at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.


	2. My hand is not to be held!

_Revlium Thoughtatium Quatiatius Notebookats Follocundus Diaranius!_

"_La la la la la laaaaaaaaa!"_

I, being the absolute_ best_ singer in Hogwarts, began tsing a song in the Hufflepuff Common Room. And if I do say so myself, I sound positively hot!_ Oh look…someone is glaring at me. Well, they can stuff it._

"_La la la laaaaaaa!"_ I sang in perfect harmony.

"Oi, White! Shut the bloody hell up!"

"Oh, my god. Is that a banshee?"

"White, shut up before I hex you!"

_Rawr_, people are pissy and angry. They don't appreciate talent when it is staring you right in front of your face. Ignoring glares and groans, I clutched my bag and headed to the Great Hall. Stupid Puffs. (You know, that sort of suggests I am calling them Cheese Puffs. Pft. Whatever, they are still meanie heads!)

Alrighty artichoke, you need an update. It's been a week since the-girl-we-do-not-mention-in front-of-my-presence (aka Jackie Nott), has ditched me to join Moldy wart. A week since I have found two new amazing friends. Alice and Lily have taught me a new meaning of true and loyal friendship.

Speaking of which, there is Lily.

"Yo, what a crack a lacking, homie?" I greeted, smiling.

She looked at me as if I had killed her owl. (Which between you and me, diaryikkns, I would. Buttercup, Lily's owl, is a total bitch. She tried to bite my bloody finger off! And I just tried to pet the darn thing.)

"I can not stand that bloody wanker!" She seethed, looking as if fire was coming out of her ears. Her green eyes turned to slits as her breathing was out of control.

I rolled my eyes. Of course. It is about James. All I hear from Lily is Potter this, Potter that. BLAH BLAH BLAH!-

Oh lookie…a Ravenclaw is picking his nose. EW! Did he seriously just eat that booger! Gross!

Crap! Completely got off topic! Now, where were we? Oh yes, Lily and James. Oh, yay. I can hardly keep my exhilaration down. (Merlin, I used a big word! Lily will so proud I actually looked at her book of difficult words. {That girl is creepy. She likes looking up words in the dictionary for fun. Weirdo.})

Anyway….people.

So me being the loyal 'Puff I am, I smile sweetly and ask sympathetically, "What happened now?"

"That _bloody _idiot ruined my study date with Jeremy! And it isn't even a date _date_!"

Trying to stifle my giggles, I began to drink my pumpkin juice. As if she appeared from thin air, Alice flumps herself down at the table. She looks at us and leans forward whispering,

"Did you hear? Sirius Black is _going_ to ask out Kayla Goldstein."

And then I spewed my juice on some second year, who glares at me.

Lily rolls her eyes, disgusted.

But I, on the other hand, scowl. Black is so not got to hurt that sweet, _innocent _girl. Kayla Goldstein is your typical smart, shy, and sugary Ravenclaw. And Black is your _disgusting_, playboy loser. No one sees it but me. Oh Merlin, I sound as if I care. Psh, yeah right…hahahaha…ha ha? I'm a Hufflepuff, I am supposed to care. I remind myself haughtily.

(I care for people except that one time when that stupid _bitch_ named Crystal Donnahughes tripped me and I hexed her. For three weeks, her forehead read "_I shall not be a skank."_ Cleaning the bed pans for Madame Pompfrey was so worth it. Anyhow, Donnahughes is also a sixth year but a Slytherin.)

Damn, I got distracted again.

A little history lesson. I_ hate _Black, he _hates_ me. The feeling is _mutual_.

So in first year, the bloody prat killed my owl. Literally. Chunker Munkers ate dung bombs my arse. That retard fed Chunker Munkers dung bombs. Then he squirted me with black ink in my hair.

And then second year, he farted and blamed it on me. People still call me _Whiffy White_. Then he convinced me that McGonagall and Dumbledore were having a mad, passionate affair. Do you have any idea how humilating that is asking the greastes wizard alive; Are you and McGonagall shacking up?

Third year, he spread a rumor I was pregnant with Snape's child. And people believed it! Even the bloody teachers! People would come to me and rub my tummy. How humiliating! I recieved a invite to a private party at the Black lake. I showed up. No one came except Black who laughed in my face.

Fourth year, I was lesbian. Thanks to Black, I had a couple of girls ask me out. And apparently, I am in love with Jenna Darksky. She is this creepy girl who still sends me love letters!

Fifth year, I had a highly contagious disease. If anyone contacted with me, I would bite them and pass it on. They avoided me as if I was an STD. That year he also sent secret admirer notes. I was overwhelmed with the idea of a lover then I cime to find out it was from Sirius Black.

During the begining of this year, he convinced the bloody first years I was a cannibal. Black told them I ate first years if they weren't good or sorted into Gryffindor house. So, I was yet again in McGonagall's office explaining I don't eat kids this year.

Do I need to go on with my _fabulous _history?

But I pranked him back and yelled and screamed and punched and kicked him back. Stupid_ wanker_.

I get up from the table and spot Black going to the nerdy table. Before he goes, I stuck my foot out and Black tripped. Laughter spreaded out in the hall.

"What do you want, Whiffy?" He asks impatiently, getting hair out of his eyes and smiling cockily. Oh he thinks he can charm me with his looks. Yeah right! Blimey, what an idiot!

"I will not permit you breaking yet another girl's heart!" I said calmly. In the corner of my eyes I can't help but notice how people stop to stare at us. Hello! Do I look like a bloody circus to you?

"What, you jealous?" Black teased, smirking.

I flush with anger. "Why would I be_ jealous_ of you, blockhead?" I scream.

"I don't know maybe it's because I'm so handsome, intelligent, and charming!" He says. His arrogance will be the death of him some day.

"Well, dung brain, listen closely. YOU ARE UGLY!" I shrieked into his ear, as he winced.

Mutters went all out trough the hall. "Did she say Siri was ugly? What a bitch!" "Oh no she didn't!" "I am going to kill her!" "Don't listen to her, baby, you are still beautiful."

Pathetic, honestly. That deserves an eye roll.

"Stuff it, White." He growled. Oh, I think I hit a soft spot. White, 37. Black, 34. Ha-ha, blockhead, I am winning this shit.

"Make me."

Those two words caused us to have a fight. And not a petty fight, I mean a brawl. He was hexing me, but whatever. I turned to muggle violence. As I was about to get another punch in, I felt someone pulling me back. I looked up to see James pulling Black back. Remus was struggling with me as I was kicking.

"Let me at 'em!" I yelled. Black and I glared at each other before throwing insults at each other.

"Wench!"

"Wanker!"

"Prat!"

"Obnoxious toad!"

"Dung breath!"

"Cock sucker!" I yelled at him as he glowered.

"Toe-jam eater."

"You unpleasant, self-indulgent bastard!"

"You stuck-up bitch!"

"**ENOUGH**!"

All of our heads turn to the loud voice. Professor McGonagall, once again, looks pissed off. "Black, White. My office now." She said shortly, her lips thin white. _Shit!_

Black and I glare at each other before walking behind her. I turn just in time to see Lily and Alice shaking their heads. As we walk out of the Great Hall to her office she commands us to sit. So, we did.

"In all of my years! I have never seen such behavior! And in front of your peers!" She was muttering as she was doing something.

She got out some biscuits. "Take one."

I take one, nibbling. Thinking, _double shit_!

Black starts pigging it done, munching in front of my face.

"Gross!" I hiss at him. He smiles smugly. Then we see Minnie glaring at us. Not good.

"That is it! I hoped I wouldn't have to come down to this! Link hands!" She commands yet again. This woman is too bossy. She would make a great sergeant.

Black and I glare at each. I, reluctantly, intertwine my left hand with his right. We looked away from each other. But, I couldn't help but blush a little. It's human. So stuff it in your page and read it, diary!

Minnie taps our hands with her wand, muttering words I will probably will never understand in my entire life. Finally, she is done. Thank you, Merlin!

"Can I have my hand back?" Black asks moodily.

Minnie just smiles. Sort of creepy, really. What the hell is wrong with this woman? She has some issues with her moodswings.

I began to tug on my hand. "Black, let go of my hand." I tug harder. And he does it to but harder which bloody hurt by the way. "Stop, Black, this isn't funny!"

"I don't want to hold your hand, woman!" He snapped.

With my free hand, I smack him in the face. "Don't ever call me woman again!" I yell. "I have a name, you chauvinist pig!"

He rubs his red face, muttering, "Bloody women!"

Then I glance at Minnie, who is smiling smugly. "You didn't!"

"Yes, I did." I began to open my mouth. "And no, Miss White, this is fair. I have their permission from Dumbledore, so you can't go running to him.-"

"The Hannah's-"

"And, yes, I did get permission from your adoptive parents." She finishes. I fall in to the chair, sulking. Traitors.

Black grins at me. "Ha-ha, Mr. and Mrs. Hannah love you so much." He says sarcastically. I turn to punch him when Minnie interrupts,

"The Potter's said I could do it to you, too, Black."

Now, he sulks with me. Join the club. _Men. _No in this case, _boys._

"There is some rules. You must attend each other's classes as it is impossible not to. You may not ask people for help to get out of the locked hands situation. You have to work together to find out the spell. And, Virgo, you will be living with Sirius. And you are not to tell the other Hufflepuff's the password."

I stare at her with horror. I protest, "What if I he tries to grope me?" I began to shiver. Think happy thoughts…Black being ran over by a hippogriff….Aw, better.

"Ughh, White, I wouldn't touch you even if you were pretty." He says snidely. But I stop my bitching to glare at him.

"Look who's talking!" I snap back.

Before the argument got heated, Minnie tells us to go and good luck. Bloody bitch.

On our way to the Gryffindor Common Room, we walked quietly. We didn't talk at all. The silence was killing me. This was one of them awkward moments. So, I break it, like an idiot.

"So….."

"So…."

"You know, this is all your fault!" I snap at him. He turns to me, glowering. I have to look up at him. Damn, his tallness. My head reaches to his bloody chest.

"My fault! You are the one who started the fight!" He yells.

In, out. In, out. In, out. That anger therapist is really terrible at her job. In, out. In, out. In, out. Oh, screw it!

"No it isn't! It's your fault for being a big man whore!" I snarl, getting up in his face as my hands got to my waist.

He bends down so his face is close to mine. I can feel the taste of oranges of his breath. Breathing hard, I scrunch my nose up at him.

"I loathe you."

"I loathe you, too."

We stare or more like glare at each other until we hear a loud, booming voice calling out, "Look, what we have hear, folks!"

Black and I turn to the Gryffindor's who are either smirking or smiling. James winks at us as Remus stifles laughs. My so wonderful mates began to laugh. Thanks, Lily and Alice, I love you, too.

"Oh, look, everyone, Sirius and Virgo are holding hands." Alice, the biggest bitch in the world right now, cries out to the audience.

Black and I turn to each other, pointing accusing fingers at each other, bellowing together, "It's not what it looks like!"

They give us skeptical looks and I can't help but think, _Triple Shit._


	3. My humor is not to be shared with black!

_**Disclaimer: i do not own anything relating to Harry Potter. But i do own Virgo White!**_

* * *

_**Chapter 3: My humor is not to be shared with Black!**_

_**Revlium Thoughtatium Quatiatius Notebookats Follocundus Diaranius!**_

"So, Virgo, you're telling me that Professor McGonagall did this to you and Padfoot?"James asked, confused. Remus shakes his head at him as Lily rolls her eyes. Frank and Alice just look amused.

_No, James. I am just yanking your wand._ I sarcastically thought.

Finally after an hour, the other Gryffindor's left us alone. The girls hissed angrily like geese and looked jealously at me. (In my noble opinion, there is nothing to be jealous of.) The boys hooted yelling at Sirius to "Get you some!" ( Ew! Just Ew! _Shudder! _Are all male Gryffindor's nasty, dirty-minded freaks? Well, I guess so. Lucky, lucky me.)

Before I can jump to the punch, Blacks says in a snarky voice, "No, Prongs, I am totally and completely in love with White." I see Alice and Lily share a look.

And so I continue in the same voice with a hint of exhaustion, "And Black and I are getting hitched."

"I knew it!" James said, pumping his fist in the air. _Idiot!_

"I believe they are using sarcasm, Potter." Lily said in her reasonable tone. I really hate that tone. It's when she begins to lecture. Not now, Lily darling.

"I can not believe I am stuck with you, pig-breath!" I groaned crossing one arm and leaning back to sulk. (It sucks that I can't use my other hand.)

"Oh and your any better, wing nut." Black snapped, huffing. Titty baby.

"Yes, I am. I can actually carry on an intellectual conversation." I say mockingly. Then we look at each other and surprisingly we bust out laughing. "Oh my god, we almost sounded like Ravenclaws!"

"The shame!" He shouts, sending us into more leaps of laughter.

"Are we missing something?" Alice questions.

"I think we are." Remus answers.

"Aww, how cute. Sirius and Virgo are sharing their first inside joke." Lily smirks, causing us to stop and glare at each other.

"Good job, Lily. Give them a reason to hate each other even more." Remus joked, chuckling.

Black and I shout at the same time.

"I don't hate him! I loathe him!"

"I don't hate her! I loathe her!"

Black and I glare at each other some more.

"Gay-wad!"

"Ass muncher!"

Alice stands up with Frank announcing, "Goodnight, everyone." Then she looks at me. "Have fun, Virgo." Smirking, she leaves.

I glare at her retreating back. Real witty, Alice.

"I'm bored." whined James.

"Goody goody gum drops to you!" I yell at him and felt shocked when Sirius yelled that too. Stop stealing my lines, blockhead.

"That was totally creepy." Lily said, standing up. "Well I am about to go to bed."

I drop to the floor, causing Black to do the same but he hit his nose to the floor. Ha-ha, dung brain. Pulling on Lily's leg, I retort to the last thing in the world. I beg.

"Please, Lilyikkns. Don't leave me with _him_!" I shout, still pulling on her leg. "I'll do your homework! Stop giving you lame nicknames!"

She smiles wickedly at me before walking up the girl's staircase. You, bitch!

"Nooo!" Dramatically, I clutch at my heart. I can feel the rip of abuse. I am totally feeling the love. I hardly hear James and Remus going up the stairs to the dorm, laughing at my anguish.

"Are you done?" Black snarled, clutching his nose. I shake my head yes. "Good, I am bloody tired. Let's go." Standing up, I sat still. "White, get your arse up before I hex you."

"I am not sharing a bed with you!" And to my utter embarrassment, I began to blush. Oh, stuff it, diary. I'm only human and part witch. Hahahaha! I just had to add that!

Seeing me uncomfortable, he grins cockily. "Is it because of my sexy body? Or my dashing good looks?" You big sodding arrogant jerk! But I can only help feel my blush to deepen.

I look up and start fake throwing up on him. He narrows his eyes. I give him my best innocent, sweet smile. But I do get distracted by his good looks. It's inhumanly possible to be that handsome. He has nice, warm gray eyes with a tint of blue. He is tall about 6'2. This beats my 5'0 roughly. Dark black hair frames his face perfectly. He has full, pink lips that any girl would die for. -

What the hell am I thinking! This is Black, we are talking about. The guy who killed Chunker Munkers! The retard that got everyone to believe I was pregnant! I mentally hit my self over the head which I really deserve right now.

Pulling out of my trance, I see him smirking a smirk that makes me want to slit his throat. (But I won't. Because like I said before, Azkaban is not my cup of tea.) Bloody hell. I am so stupid! I just precisely drooled all over him in front of his face! Good job, Virgo White, for boosting his over-inflated ego. Good job! Kudos to Virgo!

"So, White, checking out my goods?" Black demands, grinning proudly. Oh, because that is so much to be proud of.

"No!" I protest, glowering."Back to the matter at hand (no pun intended)-Seriously Black, shut up, it's not that funny-I am not sleeping with you."

"Damn, White. I didn't mean that I was going to deflower you." He said, roaring with laughter some more. To my horror, I blush even more. Can this night get any worse?

"What, you embarrassed?" He asks, smirking _again._ If he doesn't watch it I am going to slap that self-satisfied smirk off his stupid face. "Everyone knows you're a virgin, Virgo. It's pretty much stamped on your freckled forehead."

Yes, this night can get even worse. Again, lucky me. So saving my dignity I completely ignore his ass.

"Let's just get to your room, pansy."

Smirking, he leads me up the boy's stairs and to his room. Opening the door loudly, he guides us to his bed. And let me tell you, diary. Their room is complete and utter mess. There are clothes thrown all over the room with books stacked on an unused bed. Porn magazines rest at Black's night table. Merlin, kill me now.

"Welcome to your new home." He says bowing and acting benevolent. Like he pulls it of. Brainless wart-faced bacon eater.

"Well, is there a bathroom? I gotta pee super badly." Again with the blushing. Smiling, he directs me to the loo. "Now turn around." As I pull my knickers down, he turns around.

This is one of those awkward moments from a muggle movie. Except in this oh so brilliant case, the guy can't release the chick's hand. When I began to reach for the toilet paper, I can't.

Stretching, I almost fall off the bloody thing. But finally I get it. Because I am that bleeding cool. I really need to work on the arrogance I am building. Or maybe it's the fumes I am getting from being with Black. Yeah, that it's diagnosis.

Ha hum Ha hum Ha hum. Ha hum Ha hum Ha hum. Ha hum Ha hum Ha hum.

"Will you stop your humming?" Black shouts, pissed off.

Smiling inward, I do a jig. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! In your face, douche bag.

Externally, "Oh, I'm sorry. Does it bother you?"

But instead of answering, I can feel him glaring at me. Ha-ha, punk. You can't pull one over _moi. _Wait a minute_._-

"Black, turn around!"

He smirks down at me, as I try to pull my knickers up and succeeding.

"Oh, stuff it, White. We're going to be seeing a little bit of each other than we will like." Oh, because that makes me feel so much better.

"Oh, because that makes me feel so much better." I say out loud.

Rolling his eyes, he pulls down his pants showing his junk off. Shrieking, I put my free hand to my face.

"Give a girl a warning won't you?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I can't help but hear the amusement in his voice. Well excuse me for never seeing a penis.

Oh Merlin, I can hear Sirius Black pissing! A warm blush exposes my cheeks. I am defiantly having the worst night off my life. Can't I receive a break? Bloody hell.

"Done." I hear him zip up his pants.

Uncomfortable, we walk into the dorm. I sit on the bed as he stands.

Taking out his wand and point at himself (what the hell is this idiot doing now?), he mutters, "_Trocar de roupa!"_

And he clothes change. Instead of trousers and a shirt, he is bare chested and wearing boxers. I avoid looking at his nice, toned chest. I began to get my wand out when I almost cry.

Just my bloody luck! My freaking wand hand is glued to my freaking wand hand! With my right hand, I pull wand out and set it on his night table. A tear runs down my cheek. I turn quickly so he won't see my vulnerability. Again with the bloody luck.

He sees it. Seeing my distress, he whips out his wand and does the same spell. I look down to a sky blue shirt that would definitely match the same color of my eyes and to my embarrassment (again), red boxers.

We both crawl in to the bed. Facing different sides, I pull the covers up some. This is so humiliating! The first time ever sharing a bed with a guy and it just has to be my bloody enemy.

"No, funny stuff, moron, or I will choke you to death." I threaten.

"Don't count on it, White."

Before I drift to a dreamless slip, I swore to the high heavens I heard Remus chuckle.

* * *

"Trocar de roupa" means clothes change in Portuguese.


	4. My Black is not to be made fun of!

Chapter 4: My Black is not to be made fun of! That's my job, Hooker!

_**Revlium Thoughtatium Quatiatius Notebookats Follocundus Diaranius!**_

I hate Slytherins! They are pure evil! Ugh, they should be banned from Hogwarts! Maybe I can start petitioning it. They haven't forgiven me since I asked if Vermont Crabbe (He He He, and I thought my name was bad) was going to marry his Bulstrode cousin because he was so ugly. I can still feel that hex from Melissa and Matthew Bulstrode, Narcissa Black, and her crazy sister Bellatrix Black.

Luckily, Sirius isn't like his deranged family.

Gross! Merlin Donnahughes is such a slut! That looks like she is giving Avery a blow-

Sorry, I got sidetracked.

Anyway, all morning long we have gotten everything from the books. Snide comments, whistles, cat-calls, congratulations, insults, taunts, and pats on the back. And if I get one more freaking tap on the back I will punch them in the face.

So, when we walked into the Great Hall. It was complete and total hell. I don't know what is worse being stuck with Black or people thinking we are dating. Yeah, if pigs fly. I hate the feeling every one is staring at us. It's like they enjoy torturing me.

"Look, Whiffy, I am a saber-tooth tiger!" Black yells, and I turn to look at him. He stuck two straws up his mouth and pretending to roar.

You know how I didn't know which was worse. I take it back. It's being stuck with blockhead. God must really hate me. What did I ever do to you? Is it because I am weirdo? Crazy? Parentless? Umm, I have no more excuses…-

"Ha- ha." I said dryly.

"Oh cheer up, White! Don't let them get you down." He says, looking over at the Slytherin table where his cousins are laughing openly at us.

"God, I _hate _them so much!"

I turn to look at him. Even though he puts up a brave front, in his eyes I could feel the pain, anger, and sadness. Since are hands are linked together, I take my other hand and rub his hand that is linked with mine.

This does not mean anything, diary! Wipe that smirk off your page-y face! I'm a bloody Hufflepuff! I care, diary, I really do! (Hey, diary, I was wondering if you wanted a name. I'll take that as a yes! Just let me think.)

I almost jump when Black takes his free hand and places it on top of my hand. In the pit of my stomach, I felt butterflies fly around.

Wow, I must be really starving.

Unlocking my hand, I began to dig in. And it is really hard. Being left handed and having to eat and use my right hand. It sucks donkey balls.

Sirus and I start pigging out at the table. The way he eats is ridico-Look, bacon! Yum.

Professor McGonagall had handed us our schedule which had been fixed for us. Yay, spending more time in a classroom and with Black. Why haven't I thought of this before? (My sarcasm is just lighting this page up ain't it, diary?)

Hahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahaha! (Sorry, I saw someone trip and land in that wizards crot-)

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Great. It's Bellatrix Black. The arrogant and bitchy seventh year Slytherin known to be into the Dark Arts. Sirius and I turned around in our seats. "Well, blood traitor, it seems you finally found you a lover to marry. To bad she is a mud-blood. Look on the bright side, just another reason for you to be hated by the family."

Okay, now she is getting my blood to boil. I really, really hate this bitch. My Black (yes, I can be sentimental) is not to be made fun of! That's my job, hooker! And I absolutely love it. (Being mean to Black, I mean.)

"Well, Bellatrix, I didn't know you cared so much for me. I feel so flattered." I replied, smiling. Black-and by Black, I mean blockhead- smirks at his cousin.

"Listen, mud-blood,-"Bellatrix hisses, glaring.

"No, you listen, Bella-"Sirius interrupts, scowling.

I cut them off. "Pay attention, Bellatrix, the offer to join your family sounds so attempting, but I think I will have to pass. Come, blockhead, we got Transfiguration first period."

Standing up and dragging Black along, I ignore all the looks I got and Bellatrix gaping at my back.

When we get outside of the Great Hall, we dissolve into a fit of giggles. Bumping butts and giving hand-fives, we accidentally ran into James and Remus.

"What's so funny?" Remus asked, glancing at Black then at me.

"Well, Miss Virgo just told off my arrogant cousin Bellatrix." Black proclaimed, laughing.

"Bloody hell, Virgo, that's awesome!" James cheered.

"Please, it was her. She just ticked me off by saying mean shit about Black." I said modestly, shrugging.

"Aw, I didn't know you cared so much-"

"-I am so flattered."

Black and I looked at each other and busted into laughter. Skipping, we got to the Transfiguration wing still snickering leaving James and Remus behind.

Argh. I hate Transfiguration. I got an A on the O.W.L.S. anyway. Like, I need it for anything. Or unless I have to transfigure something. Dang, that will stink. Black just has to be a bloody genius in this subject.

McGonagall starts preaching to the class about what ever they were learning. The Ravenclaw hung on to every thing she said. _Morons!_ The Gryffindor's did what ever. Lily was taking notes. Black and James were playing hangman.

"Listen! N.E.W.T.S is coming up soon." Minnie reminded. "You lot are just staring at me as is if I was a brick wall!-"

"I really hate this class." Alice moaned/whispered, sitting behind me.

"-Miss White-"I looked up at my name. "-could probably do the spell and she isn't an N.E.W.T.S. student!"

Umm, I don't know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment. I'll take it as the latter.

"Would you demonstrate the spell, Miss White?"

Shrugging, I turn to the quill they were supposed to transfigure into a blanket.

"_Couverture!_"And to my utter surprise, the quill turned into a big, fluffy yellow blanket. Holy crap.

"Good job, Miss White, ten points to Hufflepuff."

You know how I said I hate Transfiguration. It might not be so bad. Ignoring Lily and Alice, I slumped back into my seat placing my hands behind my head thinking, _I might not be that so bad in my magical ability._


	5. My beauty sleep is not to be interrupted

I don't own anything relating to Harry Potter.

Chapter 5

My beauty sleep is not to be interrupted

_**Revlium Thoughtatium Quatiatius Notebookats Follocundus Diaranius!**_

Oh my God. I am _going_ to murder him. I am going to "kidnap" him then torture him and then kill him! God, why me? It's one simple question. Why won't you answer me!

Guess who I am talking about? _Hint, hint._ He's tall, loud, annoying, womanizing man whore, stuck-up prick, and his last name is a color. Sirius bloody Black that's who! Like that surprises you, Paige. (Oh by the way, diary, that's what I named you. Fitting, isn't it? Paige. And there are pages in a book. Huh, I'm a freaking genius. And people tell me I am crazy. Blah.)

Paige, I'm dead serious.

Don't laugh, Virgo, Don't laugh! I'm laughing. What that's funny! I am talking about killing him and I use 'dead' and 'serious' in the same sentence. Sirius. Serious. Man, what did he do for his mum to hate him so much? (Look who's talking. My name is Virgo and _that_ is self-explanatory.)

Nevertheless, guess what this bloody dim-witted, ass-kisser boy does? For two days straight I haven't been able to sleep a wink! (Get your mind out of the gutter, Paige!)

He snores, very loudly. Not little gentle-breathing-down-your-nose snores. I mean full-out-grunting, ear-wrenching snore. You wish you had earplugs. It sounds like someone is running a dang chainsaw.

It's irritating. He's irritating. It's a win-win situation. Even when he is asleep he finds ways to still piss me off. He could write a book about that. '101 Ways to Piss off Virgo White' by Sirius Black. Yay, it would be a bestseller. Yippy freaking do.

I can't sleep! And I feel like shit! It has been the most unpleasant two days in my life. I haven't taken a shower, yet. Like I would get in a shower with _him_! Not even on my life. My hair feels greasy! My skin feels flaky and trashy! My face is suffering from roughness and bumps! I don't know who stinks more, me or _him_!

The brainless creep suggested we take a shower together. Together. Naked. I'd rather stick pin needles in my eye.

Then I socked him in the face. I had to hall his heavy ass to the infirmary. I got in trouble _again_. Blah. Blah. Blah. Tell me something I don't know.

The 'library problem' on the other hand is making me grouchy. Blockhead won't go in there at all. He says his allergic. _Dumbass._ I have tried for two bloody days. He's bloody indolent and thick. We need to go to the library. I don't want to walk around forever with our hands glued as one.

This is not my week!

I hate him even more.

You know what! A light bulb just went out in my scatter brain. I'm going to pull a Slytherin on him today. Just wait for lunch, Paige.

MWAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I need a hobby. Maybe I'll take up knitting.

_Lunch time_

_**Revlium Thoughtatium Quatiatius Notebookats Follocundus Diaranius!**_

Everyone is present. James is actually talking to Lily in an actual conversation. I can't believe I have the honor to see this day. Alice is cuddling into her Frank. There doing that creepy moony-eye couple thing. Ew, gross. Remus has his nose stuck in _The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6_. Peter is being Peter. Black is pigging out.

"So," I began slyly, "are we going to take a shower today?"

Shit, I shouldn't of said that…They all stop what there doing to stare at us.

"Oh, you're finally taking up to my other." Black said nonchalantly, swallowing his food whole.

I feel the blood rise in my cheeks. This is not how it will go!

"As if I would ever take a shower together." I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"That's not what you were saying yesterday." He replied, drinking his pumpkin juice.

"Yes, because punching you in the face didn't quiet get the message across?" I stated, glaring at Black.

He scowled at me. "Thank you for the reminder, Whiffy."

I turn around to glare at him. He knows I hate that name with a living passion. "Oh, your welcome, blockhead." He glared at me more.

"Oh, look at the time. I better head up to Ancient Runes or I'll be late," Commented Remus, standing up and leaving the Great Hall with Peter behind him. Frank and Alice, too, left claiming they had to study. Yeah right. They are going to find a broom cupboard to snog.

"Virgo, maybe you should take a shower you look like...shit." Lily complimented. I grimaced.

"Thanks, Lily, you're too sweet." I said sarcastically, Lily smiled apologetically. Black began to laugh. "What's so funny?"I asked moodily, stabbing my food with a fork.

"Your best friend just called you stinky." Black chuckled. I glared at him. He is such a dick.

"Well excuse me, your highness; I didn't know you were in charge over my body." I declared. He barked out another laugh.

"I wouldn't laugh, Padfoot, you stink also." James said quietly. That shut Black up. Ha! What comes around goes around.

"And you snore!" I yelled. He truly looked offended.

"I do not snore." He denied, slapping his hand on the table.

"Sirius, you actually do," Spoke up James, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Merlin, James, are you taking _her_-" Black gave me a scathing look"-side?" questioned Black, frowning at James. The poor fellow squirmed uneasily. "Oh my god, you are! What is today 'picking on Sirius day'?"

"No, but I can make it be." I laughed. Lily threw me a warning look. How can she talk? She makes fun of James all the time.

"_No, but I can make it be._"He mocked me, putting up a high-pitched girly voice. I glowered at him.

"How about you shove your head up your-"

"How about you two take a shower together in your bathing suits?" interrupted Lily, trying to put the fire out.

Still glaring at each other, we reluctantly agreed to it. I hate that Lily is a freaking genius. I wish I was born with that gene. Logic.

_Night time _

_**Revlium Thoughtatium Quatiatius Notebookats Follocundus Diaranius!**_

We are in the shower. _Together._ I hate my life.

"Hey would you hand me the shampoo?" I asked.

"It's going to cost ya." He winked. I glared at him. "Come on, Virgo, loosen up. You act as if you are above my rank or something."

I turned around, rolling my eyes. Finally glad I have an excuse so I don't have to look at his nice body. I slowly put the shampoo in my hair. Using my free hand I tried to rub it in. Like usual, it didn't worked. Hands touched my hair. I jumped violently.

"Calm down, White, it's just me." He said. I could practically here the smirk in his voice. Git.

"I don't need your help." I stubbornly persisted.

"Yeah, because your one hand is doing the job." He replied sarcastically, his hand and my hand still massaging in the shampoo.

For next minutes, we rinsed and did the conditioning of my hair. I turned around to do the same to him...

"Thanks." I muttered. He shrugged lazily.

With a big glob of shampoo, I placed my hand in his hair. Our hands danced together in the soapy hair. It was odd. We are looking at each other and not with scorn or disgust. He looked at me intently, studying me with his eyes. I blushed deeply, glancing down at our feet. Why do I have to blush?

A finger on my chin brought me to look at Black. With his finger, he dipped the foam on to my face.

"You have a beard." He giggled.

"Did you just giggle?" I asked, sniggering.

"No! That was my man chuckle!" He shrieked. That statement made me laugh even more. "What it's not funny!"

I shook my head yes, snorting.

"It's nice to hear you laugh even if it's at my offence. It's still nice." He commented randomly. I blushed harder. Kill me.

"Let's finish."

Thirty minutes later, we finally finished taking a shower. We walked into the bedroom, towels wrapped securely around us.

"Well, at least you didn't kill each other," remarked Remus, not even glancing up from _Defending against the Dark Arts History. _Sounds like a real bore. James was grinning at us creepily before tucking himself into bed.

"It was actually quiet. I thought yall were snogging." James uttered. That comment he got two shoes thrown at himself. "Okay, okay. I got the message." He moodily turned around.

Black and I tucked ourselves into bed after he performed the charm to change our clothes. I got comfortable when he place our locked hands in front of my stomach. He snuggled into me.

"Wait!" He leaned over on me to get something on the nightstand. I tried not to freak out. "Here you go, White."

He handed me earplugs. "Put them in your ears so I don't disturb your beauty sleep."He ordered. He pretty much stuffed them in my ears.

"Thank you." I said sincerely. "Goodnight."

"Your welcome, White. Goodnight."  
He snuggled into me getting us into a comfortable position. I felt his breath on my neck. I sighed intensely. For some reason I like that feeling. _Weird._ Closing my eyes, I fell into a soundless sleep and smelling his intoxicating scent of burnt rubber and oranges.


	6. My Face is not to be Hexed!

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Harry Potter **_**or **_**Seasons of Love **_**by Rent.**

Chapter 6

My Face is not to be Hexed!

_**Revlium Thoughtatium Quatiatius Notebookats Follocundus Diaranius!**_

To my dearest Paige, (_Snort_! I sound like I just stepped out of a Jane Austen novel.),

I am scared for my life.

She is going to _Crucio_ me and then kill me with her bare heads. Or better yet she'll come up with more sadistic ways to torture me.

Why do you might ask, my dear Paige?

I might have, _er_, spilled something on Lily's precious potions assignment that she has been writing/editing/finishing over the two week period time limit. That is due tomorrow.

Yeah, I am definitely screwed.

_Hem-Hem. _

_If anyone finds this diary, please hand out my will._

_To the Hannah's, I guess you can have…all my stuff?_

_To Alice Prewett, you can have my stash of candy and that red jumper you love so much._

_To James Potter, you can have my broomstick._

_To Lily Evans, you can have all my books. And ah sorry about that potions assignment._

_To Sirius Black, you ain't getting shit! MWHA HA HA HA HA HA!_

I swear it wasn't my fault that I ruined her assignment! Black and I were wrestling over who got the last chocolate frog and my elbow accidentally slipped. It's the arrogant berks fault! I'm innocent! _Insert pleading expression here._

A clap on my back made me jump high in fear.

I jumped around quickly to make sure it wasn't a raging redhead. Instead, it was the smiling face of a happy Alice.

"WOULD YOU BLOODY MIND, YOU STUPID TOSSER?" I shouted shrilly, a hand on my beating heart while glancing around in fear. Black tumbled over in laughter. Alice cowered in fear at my outburst.

"Are you okay, Virgo?" Alice asked worriedly, wincing as if I was gonna punch her in the face. "You look like you have seen a ghost."

I glanced around the Gryffindor Common Room to make sure a revengeful redhead wouldn't hood jump me.

"I'm fine." I lied weakly. Black barked out a laugh.

"She spilt pumpkin juice on Lily's potions homework." Black said gleefully. That bloody git is just anticipating the look on Lily's face when she hexes me into an oblivion.

She gasped, covering her mouth with her hand to smother the giggles.

"Oh, Virgo, she is going to murder you. She has been working on that forever."

"I know." I whimpered pathetically, sinking in my seat.

_Flump!_

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed loudly, twitching upright.

"What's with her?" James _whispered_ theatrically, giving me a look that suggested that I was a wild nutter on the loose.

"She fucked up Lily's potions assignment." Black said bluntly. James winced and rubbed his face as if he had just been hit with a _Stinging Hex _directed from Lily herself.

"The world is conspiring against me…I'll never reach sweet seventeen…I'll never be able to have kids…I'll have to make my will public…Dear sweet Morgana, help me. Answer my pleads…" I muttered fearfully, glancing around the room cautiously.

"Oh no," James moaned. "She's finally lost her marbles. I guess its time to send her to St. Mungo's. It was a matter of time."

The group laughed at that _hilarious_ remark but I glared at them.

"James, shut the _fudge_ up before-" I was cut off by Lily's loud, shrill voice,

"_VIRGO CRISPINA GINGER HARMONY AQUARIUS WHITE!_ WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE _YOU_? WHEN I FOUND YOU, I AM GOING TO WRING YOUR NECK! YOU WILL BE BEGGING FOR MERCY WHEN I GET STARTED ON YOU! YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, I AM GOING TO HEX YOUR PRETTY FACE OFF!"

Jumping up, I shouted tearfully, "That's my cue."

I ran so fast not even a hippogriff could catch up with me. Black was laughing his head off as I dragged his sorry ass.

_**Revlium Thoughtatium Quatiatius Notebookats Follocundus Diaranius!**_

_Ten minutes later._

Black and I sat in the itty bitty broom cupboard, it was the first room I could find that wasn't locked or…_occupied_…if you catch my drift.

Shit, I wasn't going to hunt down a bigger space. F that. The she-devil with revenge was on the prowl waiting for _me _to stop lurking in the dark.

Can't they make these cupboard more comfortable! Jeez. It's all I'm asking.

As _touchy feely _as this may sound, I was snuggled in his lap with my face smothered in his neck. I was breathing so hard into his neck that he shivered.

"Would you stop that?" He snapped irritably, glaring down at me.

"What?" I whispered crossly, glancing up at him.

It suddenly clicked at how close we were. His face was clearer from up close. You could see into the depth of his gray eyes. I could see a prickle of hair on his chin. He really needs to shave. Our lips were so closely together that they lingered lightly against each others. We were able to smell each others breath. I inhaled the slight orangey smell with a small smile.

"Breathing down my bloody neck."

I smiled sheepishly, muttering an apology. What was it that he snapped about again?

_Five minutes, thirty-three seconds later._

"I'm bored." He whined in an annoying whiny voice a toddler would use.

"Lower your voice." I hissed, paranoid. What! She has amazing hearing!

"But there's nothing to do." He complained.

"Shut up!" I punched his gut, ignoring his sharp intake of breath. "And stop complaining." I added, rolling my eyes at his pitiful moans.

**(The dialogues are going to switch back and forth from Sirius to Virgo.)**

_Ten minutes, twenty-two seconds later._

"-So, I was like _Reggie, you dumb shit that's not how you_-"

_Twenty-three minutes, fifteen seconds later._

"-sew a bloody stuffed doll. That little prissy bitch made _me _get a F on my report card. I was grounded for a month. It's alright. I got my revenge. I made her-"

_Forty-minutes, three seconds later._

"-eat a big fat booger!"

"Ew, Black!"

"Listen to this, his stomach is so weak he threw up-"

_One hour, three minutes, forty-three seconds later._

"-farts! That retards curse backfired making me a farting machine for a week!"

His laughter boomed for five minutes.

"-that was almost as worse when, Black, when you-"

_One hour, twelve minutes, five seconds later._

"-couldn't stop rhyming for a day! It was bloody annoying!"

_One hour, eighteen minutes, five seconds later._

"_Oooo_! I know a fun game! It's called _Would you rather? _and super duper fun!"

"Merlin's pants, White. There's no need to squeal in me ear. We can play."

_One hour, thirty-two minutes, eighteen seconds later._

"Would you rather bathe in Snape's hair grease or smack Minnie in the arse?"

"White, you have dementedly twisted sick mind!"

"Answer the bloody question!"

"Ugh, smackMinnieinthearse."

"_Speak up!_"

"SMACK MINNIE IN THE ARSE!"

_Pause._

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!-"

"White, stop it!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!-"

_One hour, forty-two minutes, three seconds later._

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!-"

_One hour, fifty minutes, fifty three seconds later._

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!-"

_Two hours, eight minutes, twenty seconds later._

"White, would you rather snog Snivellus or me?"

"Is _or_ an option?"

_Two hours, fifty minutes, twenty-eight seconds later._

"Would you rather shag me or that bloke from Ravenclaw you had a crush on?"

"What the _crap_ do you take me for, Black, _a whore_?"

"Just answer the question."

"Any I never did like that bloke, for your information."

"Uh, huh. You have me convinced. Always flirting and giggling in his presence."

"I did not such thing! What are you, jealous?"

"No! Just answer the bloody question."

"…you…"

"…Awkward…" We chorused after a minutes silence.

_Three hours, twenty-one minutes, five seconds later._

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Are you for real or are you fucking with me?"

"I am being dead serious-no pun intended, Sirius,-but James actually screamed like a little girl over a small spider."

"Thank you, White. You gave me the _greatest_ blackmail _ever_!"

_Four hours, fifteen minutes, one second later._

"FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED SO DEAR_. _FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MINUTES. HOW DO YOU MEASURE, MEASURE A YEAR?-"

"WHITE, SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU CAN'T SING!"

_Four hours, sixteen minutes later._

"_-HOW ABOUT LOVE? HOW ABOUT LOVE? MEASURE IN LOVE. SEASONS OF LOVE. SEASONS OF LOVE.-" _

"OW! HELP, SOMEONE! MY EARS! THEY ARE BLEEDING!"

_Four hours, sixteen minutes, twenty seconds later._ "-_**FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MINUTES. FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND JOURNEYS TO PLAN. FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MINUTES. HOW DO YOU MEASURE THE LIFE OF A LIFE OR A MAN?**_-"

"Just _Avada Kedavra _me now, please."

_Four hours, thirty-eight minutes, eight seconds later._

"Full name?"

"Sirius Orion Black."

"Ha! What's your favorite animal?"

"Dog." _Sly smirk._

"Ugh. Food?"

"Chocolate Frogs."

"Yummy! Book?"

"_Quidditch Trough the Ages._"

"Surprise, surprise. Song?"

"Stomp on a Witches Heart by Shrieking Skrewts."

"_Jerk_…"

_Four hours, forty-five minutes, fifty-eight seconds later._

"Embarrassing Nicknames?"

"Don't laugh. Joshua and Mary call me _Short-Stop _because I am short. Mum and Dad used to call me _love-monkey _because I reminded them of a hyper-active monkey. Lily and Alice call me _Skittles _because I love muggle candy called Skittles. James calls me _pumpkin head _because he dumped an empty pumpkin over my head and it practically blended in with my hair."

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"…Shut up…"

"Sorry,-" _snort._ "Dogs or cats?"

"Cats."

"I hate those things! Least favorite animal?"

"I have two. Dogs and owls."

"Why?"

"Dogs annoy the snot out of me. Always being needy and attention-seeking. And owls are the devil reincarnated."

"Whatever, weirdo. Book?"

"_Thousand Insults for the Enemy._"

"That explains so much. Song?"

"Seasons of Love by Rent." _Mocking smirk._

"Oh, hardy har har!"

_Five hours. On the dot._

"Is this really necessary?" Black asked, sighing. "We have been in here for hours! I'm dying of boredom!"

"Yes it is. And suck it up.-"

I stopped talking when I heard feet trampling this way. I sucked in my breath and anticipated the persons next move.

"_Come on out, my pretty. I'm not going to hurt you…Virgo, my dear, where are you?…_" Lily said in a creepy witch-y voice.

I hyperventilated against Sirius, rocking back and forth.

Her footsteps came closer and closer and closer to the closet.

Five, four, three, two, and, "AH HA! I found ya, my sweet!" Lily shouted triumphantly, a mad gleam in her eye.

I stared at her in complete horror.

Before I had a chance to defend my defenseless self, Lily shot a boiler curse at me and…_at my face! _

Anything but the face!

Bitch.

_One hour later. _

I was sitting in the infirmary with a smug Black and a guilty Evans.

Minnie dearest decided that Lily should serve a weeks worth of detentions and I had to rewrite Lily's bloody essay _and _write an apology letter to Professor Slughorn why Lily's essay is going to be couple days late.

The curse was so powerful that it left tiny, itchy chicken pox. My face itches! My wonderfully looking face!

"I am so sorry, Virgo…I don't know what took over me…It was like I was possessed!…" Lily apologized ashamedly. She looked down at her lap with guilt written on her face.

I wanted to be mad but I couldn't. I ruined her assignment and she ruined my face. I guess its only fair.

"It's fine, Lily-pad. You know the saying: _What comes around goes around…_" I smiled painfully. I just really want to scratch the pain away.

Lily hugged me carefully, teary eyed. After a couple more apologies, Madame Pomfrey ran her out of here because I was "unhealthy by association".

"Underneath your nonchalant exterior, you have the fine makings of a Hufflepuff." Black praised. I raised an eyebrow at his observing. His cheeks reddened.

"I just mean you care about others, bluntly honest, treat everything fairly (even the people that piss you off), loyal to the bone, and tolerant to people. Even though you might crack a joke or two, you still understand that is that person. Your a true Hufflepuff. You would've been a fine Gryffindor, but there's a fine line between passion and compassion. Though you have a mind of a daring Gryffindor, your heart is a sweet Hufflepuff." He said quietly, staring at me impassively.

I blinked back the water that threatened to pour out of my eyes. I'm not crying. I scoff at the very idea. It's just there's a bug that flew into my eye…That's it.

We stared at each other for awhile. Just looking, just observing, just patiently waiting for the sleep to come.

Despite my faces uncomfortableness, I slept peacefully.


	7. My Brain is Not to understand Sirius!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!**

Chapter 7

My brain is not to understand Sirius Black!

_**Revlium Thoughtatium Quatiatius Notebooksats Follocundus Diaranius!**_

Dear Paige,

We sat in the library peacefully, looking up useful spells and conversing properly with each other without yelling, arguing, fussing, complaining, hair-pulling, or punches. Everything is just hugs and kisses with a shiny, beautiful blaring in the background. Any minute now, a cliché song would be burst from the two main characters; their duet filled with joy and passion. No one whispered behind our backs about us being attention-whores. The whole scene was shiny and clean.

I freaking wish! That hypothetical scenario would only happen in opposite land. Paige, please, buy me a ticket to get away from him!

Sirius is being a whiny baby! (What else is new?) He flumped himself on the floor outside the library doors, verbally refusing to step in that "hell hole that seduces innocent souls" with his legs locked together and arms crossed stubbornly.

He is such a man-child!

_Die…Die…Die…_

"Sirius Black, get the hell up!" I screeched.

"No," he said stubbornly. I kicked his side and moaning in agony, he clutched his side.

"Ow! What the bloody hell was that for, White?"

"For being a douche bag." He glared.

"Why do we have to go in_ there_?" He said crossly, glaring at the doors with a deep hatred.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe to find the spell that binds are hands together." I pointed out sweetly. He jumped up quickly. "That's what I thought." I smiled smugly. He rolled his eyes, following behind me into the library.

_**Revlium Thoughtatium Quatiatius Notebooksats Follocundus Diaranius!**_

"Oooohhh, I think I found something, pumpkin." Sirius teased. I rolled my eyes, resisting the urge to slap him across the face.

"Probably some porn, dog breath." I teased back. He snorted.

Leaning over his shoulder, I stared at the foreign text with utter concentration. I am semi-fluent in Latin.

My mother, Dr. Bernadette White, got her doctorates in Linguistics. She taught me a lot of used and dead languages including Latin. My father, Dr. Geoffrey White, got his PhD in Medieval Literature. I grew up thinking, writing, and exploring new languages.

He glanced sideways at me, realizing how close our heads were together; eventually, he looked down at the Latin spell book with a small smile.

Sighing, I blushed. The sexual tension that has been building between us in the last five hours has been killing me!

I learned something new today: Hot, stuffy room+ hormones+ handsome boy+ sexually frustrated girl= sexual tension.

It's not rocket science as the muggles say.

He might deny it or dare not to acknowledge the situation, but believe me when I say, I most certainly am, Paige.

I need something to drink.

"The…linking…of…the…hands…shall…be…released…by…powerful…mental…powers…" He said confidently, grinning.

I stared at him for a full second before hitting him upside the head.

"Ow!"

"Idiot! This is not time for games, Black. Here is the spell apparently." I said irritably, pointing to a rather long and hard pronunciation of the spell. This will take a couple minutes to translate and pronounce correctly. I could get it done in five minutes.

I skimmed the introductory paragraph written in Latin.

_The handlock curse is a spell for a quarreling couple to cease fire and learn to corporate. This spell is to be administrated from a third party particularly a woman that sympathizes with the couple in question. Practice the words for they are easily able to mix up the words. Incidentally, this spell will be lost in the pages. Copy this spell down for after you say the words with a wand, this page will disappear, for there is no longer need for it._

Whipping out his wand quickly, Sirius cried, "_Dimitte his contumacem amatores quoniam ipsi didicero documentum. Et solvere absque manibus corpus pertinent._"

Realizing he mispronounced a bunch of words and he was a male, my body stiffened as a pile of dust exploded in our faces.

"Idiot!" I screamed, throwing my hands in the air. I scrambled over to the book, flipping back to the page with the curse. "That spell needs 100% concentration, dumb nut. And you completely screwed it up!-"

I stopped talking when I noticed my hands were both free. Tears of joy sprung in my eyes as I twisted my left wrist several times. Holy shizznit, I am free of the antichrist.

"You were saying, White." Sirius said smugly.

"Shut up!" Don't ruin my mood!" I laughed happily. "I am in such an excellent mood that I could kiss you!"

Cricket. Cricket. Cricket.

"Hypothetically speaking, that if I had a huge crush on you, of course, which I don't, by the way." I coughed into my hand, shifting my eyes to the ground. We both laughed awkwardly.

"Well, it was nice while it lasted." Black did his signature look: a half-smirk, half-smile.

"Great storied to tell our grandchildren some day." I blurted out unthinkingly. Seeing his amused face, I slapped my forehead. "Not _our_ grandchildren. I mean mine and yours. Oh, you know, what I mean!" I flushed.

"Not only do you like me but you also want my children, too." Sirius grinned cheekily.

Ignoring him, I speed walked to the door to stop embarrassing myself further. Only the most horrible thing occurred. My recently joyous mood was replaced with a furious temper.

The spell was a dud.

The spell was a dud!

THE SPELL WAS A DUD!

MOTHER !#%^*)&$%%^$^&&()&*&$%#^%&^&*&(^(^$%^$&*^*()&*(^^$^&$*

When I walked twenty inches away from Black, this vivid, vibrant, and visible green chain slid around our wrists securely and tightly. Dread filling my stomach, I knew our fate was intertwined a bit longer. Suddenly, the chain yanked him forward; ultimately, a heavy, muscled, hundred-and-seventy pound dude to crush a hundred-and-thirty pound girl aka me.

"I am going to kill you!" I seethed, flipping him on his back as my hand sought his pride and joy, his stupid hair.

"Not the hair! Anything but my prized appearance!" He pleaded desperately, his large hands covering my tiny wrists.

"Shut up!" I hissed into his ear, pressing harder into his body. "You are going to regret saying the spell!"

"Oh, I am so scared of a girl," he said sarcastically.

"You should be when I burn you alive," I snarled.

He looked at me with a sly smirk before rolling us over, him riding on top of me. I felt his wand poking into my abdomen. Weird. I thought it was on the table. I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see his wand on the floor. Knitting my eyebrows in confusion, I thought, _what is poking my stomach...Oh my God_…I flushed in realization.

He smirk widened at my red face.

"Sweetheart, I wouldn't play with fire," he whispered huskily in my ear. Taking in a deep, shuddering breath, I felt his eyelashes fluttering against my cheekbones.

"I won't be the one burning alive." I retorted breathlessly.

"Stubborn woman." He chuckled, pressing a kiss on the corner of my jaw.

Smirking, he started down at me with intense, cool grey eyes. His eyes flickered down at my eyes to my lips and I waited in anticipation. My breath hitched when he leaned closer to me. I knew what to expect as his shoulders hunched and his lips hovered an inch away from mine. My first real kiss-not that short and innocent kiss in daycare-was going to be taken by Sirius Black.

"Awhem!"

Sirius and I jumped up embarrassedly and quickly separated. Slightly out of breath, we avoided each others eyes and shifted uncomfortably.

Remus Lupin stared at us, amusedly and knowingly, while filing his papers into his leather bag.

"Am I am interrupting something, Virgo and Sirius?" He questioned.

"No!" I yelled.

"Yes!" Sirius yelled.

We glanced at each other and began to explain at the same time.

"Well, you see, I dropped my book-"

"And being the Good Samaritan I am, I helped White-"

"-pick up the book for me. Klutzy me,-"

"-fell right on top of me. I flipped us over-"

"-because I was telling Black about this article I read. If you get someone to stretch your thigh muscles-"

"-you can loose weight. Who woulda thunk it?"

Slightly out of breath and sweating like a pig, I blushed furiously. Black glanced at me, a little pink in the cheeks and scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

Lupin looked at his best friend then to me multiple times before bursting into loud, obnoxious laughter.

"So, Moony, how can I help you today?" Black asked sarcastically.

"By making by day brighter," he said, uncharacteristically smirking. "Get believable alibis, "he cackles as he struts out of the library.

I gazed at a particularly interesting patter on the wall. Those swirls are sure beautiful…

We stood in silence for several minutes.

"Never happened?"

"Never happened."

We walked to lunch to the Great Hall in an excruciating silence.

Staring at my feet, I ignored the stupid butterflies fluttering in my stomach. _Fly away, butterflies!_

It never happened, Virgo White. And you will do well to remember that.

_**Revlium Thoughtatium Quatiatius Notebooksats Follocundus Diaranius!**_

__Sirius and I huffed angrily.

For the past five minutes, we have been ridiculed for messing up the spell.

"This is too bloody funny!" James guffawed.

"How could you mess up a simple spell, Black?" Lily sniggered. Alice cackled.

Under the table, I stomped on Sirius' foot, hard. He screeched in pain.

"Thank you so much, Sirius." I said through gritted teeth.

"You are so much welcome, Virgo." He replied.

Under the table, he slipped his hand into my palm. I squeezed his fingers in apology and we sighed as we listened to their entertained sniggers.

**Authors Note: "Release these stubborn lovers for they shall have learned the lesson. Unbind the hands and they shall be free of physical state." That is the spell done in Latin. I don't know if it is correctly translated since I used Google translate. **

**I am so sorry for not updating. I haven't had the urge to write in the longest time. But recently, my best friend gave me inspiration. So, Bryanna Luna, this is for you! I love you! Thank you!**


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